Friday, May 15, 2015

Five years

May of 2010 was a time in my life that rocked my world in more ways than one. There was so much good and so much hurt. It was the first month in our first house. It was the month I was supposed to start training for my new job. It was the month I met our future dog. It was the month my pappy spent in the hospital fighting his last fight with cancer. And it was the month, my dad's heart stopped beating.

On this day five years later, all I can think about is how pissed my dad would have been that I spent $10 on a balloon, only to let it go an hour later. "What a waste!" He would have said.

But Dad - that balloon is just for you. It has all the stories, events and feelings you've missed this year, written all over it. And I sent it into the heavens, full of love and hugs.

One of the things I wrote on the balloon is how I finally started working out this year. Yoga, if that counts. In it, I have learned the concept of meditating. I am still learning and practicing, but just this month I decided to take a few minutes at the end of each class to pray and talk "out loud" in my head to God and to my dad.

Some days, I ask God to say hello to my dad for me. And others I talk to my dad as if he were sitting right beside me. I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to talk to souls, but I'm navigating it and I like it. It brings me an odd sense of comfort and peace - exactly what my dad would have wanted me to feel on his anniversary. 

Hope you enjoy the life size balloon this year, Dad.

1 comment:

  1. I'm tearing up over here! So sweet, letting a balloon go for your Dad. :)

    Also, before I moved here, I went to "Holy Yoga" classes that my friend lead. She would start with some passage or prayer, we would do yoga for an hour, in the (moderately) dark, with candles, worship music and then after the hour finished, she would reread the passage or prayer and then we would have like 10 minutes of prayers to ourselves or silence. This post makes me excited to return to those classes, that time with my thoughts, after a good workout.

    I hope to see you before I go, dear!


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