Thursday, September 13, 2012

Centered

I am participating in a women's ministry [bible study] this fall. My dear friend, Andrea, is leading the study and happened to mention it in conversation a couple of weeks ago. I like to consider myself holy, but she practices religion much better than I do. So when she started sharing the preparation details with me I felt the urge to join. I wanted to join to support her, I wanted to join out of curiosity, and I wanted to join in hopes of strengthening my relationship with God. 

I was born and raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school all twelve years of grade school and even went to a Catholic college for 2 years after high school. I used to go to church almost twice a week - once during the week (in school) and then again on Sundays. I had religion class 5 days a week for 14 years of my life (yes, even in college). Yet, when Andrea called me last evening, 1 hour before study and said, "Hey, I forgot to tell you to bring a bible tonight, so I am bringing you one in case you didn't have one." I thought to myself, "Wow, do I have a bible? If I do, where is it? How can I call myself Catholic and not have a bible?" I did have one, but it was actually my husbands, given to him as part of a groomsmen gift last year. There is something ironic about that statement - Mr B barely believes in a greater being and here I was, a Catholic girl going to a bible study, with HIS bible. [I am working on him though, don't worry ;)]

The start of class

Upon arrival, I almost felt out of my element - I had no idea what to expect, there was a group of people I had never met before, I was carrying a bible for the first time in a long time, and we were talking about a subject that I have thought about, but barely talked about in years (yes, YEARS!). I replayed Andrea and I's conversation earlier that afternoon in my head.

Kylie: "Will I have to talk tonight or can I just sit and observe? I mean, I am new to this."

Andrea: "You don't have to say a word, but you are a talkative person, so I cant imagine you won't talk. This is casual - there will be cake and coffee, so just come have fun."

She was right - I am talkative. I enjoy trying new things. I like people. I love food. Why was I nervous? I wasn't going to a big classroom. I was going to Andrea's mother-in-laws, whom I love like she was my own. It was in her new, warm and cozy basement. Ladies of all ages were sitting around the room: married, single, new moms, expecting moms, grandmas -- sitting on the floor, on the couches, around the dining table. Candles were lit, photos of love were hung on the walls, and people were talking about their recent summer travels and dream vacations. I took a seat in the back, cast a smile to Cindi, and watched my dear friend begin class. She was right - it was casual and I finally started to feel comfortable. I embraced my surroundings and opened my bible.  

If you let it, trying new things expands your mind and spirit. 

Meet Andrea
[We liked our outfits and needed an Instagram photo - it's just routine with us]

Walking out of class, I didn't feel changed, I just felt more at ease. Next time, I know what to expect. Next time, I won't be nervous. Next time, I can focus more on the meaning of the class and less about superficial stuff. And hopefully every week, my crazy internal compass will start bobbing back to center point again. 

Until next time, I have bible study homework to do.

I pray, "Lord, open my mind so that I might have understanding."

With Faith & Love,
MrsB

1 comment:

  1. Bawled reading it the first time. Bawled reading it the second time. I cannot even tell you how this touches my heart. Girl, I sat next to you last night, praying the whole time for you. Prayed you wouldn't think all us Christians were weirdos. Prayed you wouldn't be lost. Prayed you wouldn't be offended. Prayed you would feel comfortable. Prayed that Jesus would tell you He loves you so. If nothing else happens in this Bible study, I will consider it successful because of this. Your heart is precious, & I just can't wait to see you fall in love with Jesus when you see how much He loves you. I am so blessed & thankful to call you my friend, as well as my sister. I love you to the moon & back, girl.

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