Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Uncle Gary

Cherished photos captured from our wedding photo booth. 

To my Uncle Gary I was known as Kelly. This was a name he used to call me when I was young, pretending and teasing me that he didn't know my real name. Kelly stuck though, and was the name he called me the reminder of his life.

When my Aunt Vicky asked if I wanted to speak at his funeral, I didn't hesitate. I knew the story I wanted to share. It's a story that many of you may have heard in some form or another because it's one one he loved to share. 

Here's my version:

Almost six years ago, Uncle Gary and I were sitting in my grandfathers hospital room. Together, the three of us were discussing my upcoming move out West to Colorado. I am known to be a bad traveler on road trips. I get car sick, I need an endless supply of snacks, I'm impatient, I get bored...the list goes on. I had every intention of paying out of pocket to have my car shipped on a semi truck and my belongings delivered via UPS. As soon as I shared those plans out loud, Uncle Gary stopped me immediately and said, "Let me drive your stuff to Colorado!" My reply, "Does that mean I have to ride along?" "Well hell no I don't want to put up with you that long," he said, "book a one way plane ticket for yourself and I'll take care of the rest."

Gary called his late friend Randy to ask if he'd make the trip across the country with him.  Randy had never been east of Ohio and uncle Gary thought this would be the perfect opportunity to expose him to all that the West had to offer. 

He said "We'll back track to some of the same places I visited on my motorcycle retirement trip a few years ago. I'll take you to Las Vegas, Arches National Park, the Grand Canyon. And there's this giant boulder that saved my life during a hail storm in Rocky Mountain National Park - I'll take you there too and tell you the whole story!"

It didn't take much convincing. Randy agreed to drive my car across the country while Uncle Gary would drive his own car, pulling the small U-Haul full of all my belongings. 

What Uncle Gary neglected to tell Randy was that my car was the size of a matchbox and didn't have cruise control or air conditioning. Not an issue, except they were making this trip in the middle of summer.

On the morning of departure, Uncle Gary said, "You know Randy, I feel kind of bad you won't have air conditioning on this trip. So I'm going to drive with my windows down too."

Gary didn't make it to Breezewood before he had the windows up and air conditioning cranked.

((Breezewood is only 40 miles from his house. I can hear him laughing, he loved that part of the story))

They made it to Chicago the first day, right around rush hour. While they sat in traffic for over an hour, in the heat and humidity, Randy called Gary and said "I know you're a road warrior but if you think I'm driving another mile down this damn road, you're crazy. I've lost ten pounds in sweat, while you've enjoyed the comfort of your air conditioned car. I need a shower and a bed."

At this point I am sure Randy was reconsidering his decision to join my uncle on this adventure.

They drove the remaining 10 hours the following day and arrived safely at our Colorado apartment in the early evening. Poor Randy looked as if he'd rode a horse across the country. He was soaked head to toe in sweat and terribly cramped from sitting in a tiny 2001 Hyundai Accent for two days straight. 

Uncle Gary on the other hand jumped out of his car, with a smile on his face, ready to help us unpack.

My husband and I offered to take them to dinner, but Randy was begging for a cool hotel room and a pie of pizza. While Uncle Gary (in typical Gary fashion), was already mapping out their journey the following morning, with plans to be on the road at 6AM. We hugged them goodbye and wished them safe travels.

In the days that followed, and in an air conditioned car may I add, they really did tour the west - making their way to each and every destination planned. And although Uncle Gary claims he found the same rock that saved his life years before to show Randy, I think he's full of shit. I've been to that park hundred times and the whole dang place is covered in rocks and boulders! 

***

I'll never forget your sense of humor or your George Straight smile, Uncle Gary. You taught me the importance of being punctual, even though I'm always late. And that air conditioning really is not overrated.

Your heart may have been weak, but it was made of gold. I'm so fortunate to have been loved by a man like you. 

I love you dearly, Uncle Gar and hope Randy and you can continue your adventure in heaven together.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Resolutions

I am currently sitting on the couch, under a cozy blanket, eating left over spaghetti for the second time today (because balance guys), and watching the Bachelor. Don't judge, it's my guilty pleasure and if I don't catch up, my girlfriends are going to disown me.

Since it's still the first week of January, I figured it's acceptable to join all of the other bloggers and share a few new year resolutions that I don't intend to keep.
  • maybe lift a few weights this year and build some muscle in my arms. my new goal by the end of 2016 is to do a handstand in yoga. i attempted the other night in class and gave up immediately. i was fully certain that i was going flip over and shatter the mirror with my feet. •• for a girl that couldn't touch her toes one year ago when she walked into her first class and is now able to hold crow for longer than 5 seconds...well, that just means this year's goal seems realistic. or flat out dangerous. 
  • read before bed. this one always starts out good, then by february, my kindle gets lost in my nightstand. i restart in march. quit by april. so on and so on. this year, i'm going to try and stick to it, at least through the end of february.
  • visit more coffee shops. i have the ability to work from anywhere, and yet, i never seem to leave my desk. this year, i am taking my portable office to more coffee shops. and drinking more coffee. when my tea kettle broke this fall, i switched to coffee. the keurig was simply more convenient and now i am suddenly welcoming a new caffeine addiction to my life. who needs tea, when my naturally hyper self can drink coffee instead. 
  • keeping my job. because going through the experience of losing your job really puts a damper on your year. i mean, having all the time in the world to sit in your bathrobe and binge watch scandal is great...but only for the first two weeks. #firstworldproblems
  • getting rid of the clutter. my husband is convinced i hide everything from him, when in reality, i'm putting things where they belong. maybe we just need less stuff. 
  • call my mom and sister more. because every other day isn't enough.
  • put my fitbit back on, just so i can take it off again next week.
  • clean up my gmail inbox and actually reply to people. lately, it's overflowing and that's entirely out of the norm for me.
  • take vitamins. because i'm almost 30 and that seems like the healthy thing to do.
  • be kind to one another. because Ellen says so. 
  • blog more. who am I kidding? 
Well, they're documented, so that counts for something.

Happy New Year, friends. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Monty Monday

Before the (expected) winter blizzard arrives this week, Monty and I are stomping on every crunchy leaf we stumble upon. Fall, you've been good to us. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Monty Monday

The turtle makes an appearance for the 6th year in a row. It barely fits and is probably the least creative dog costume ever. Mr. B reminds me every year. Yet he is also the one that dresses him in it and walks him around the neighborhood. 

Maybe, just maybe you'll be something new next year, Monty. Something you can smile about. 

Friday, October 30, 2015

The Bores Annual Carving Party

Our immediate Bores family lives within a 60 mile radius of each other, yet we have the HARDEST time getting together. So we have to plan months in advance. This month, we planned to go to one of MY favorite pumpkin patches - Osborn Farm in Loveland - to pick pumpkins, go back to the house, sip fall-ish drinks, and have a carving party. 

Hesitantly, the family agreed to this "traditional" idea. 

So as we were getting ready on Saturday, Mr. B decided to trim his beard. Turns out he really has no idea how to use a beard trimmer and took off half of his sideburns. An emergency trip to the hair salon, made us fashionably late to the pumpkin patch. 

We met the family, grabbed a wheel barrow from the line up and started our trek to the field of picturesque pumpkins. 

We started laughing immediately, then left the wheel barrow in the middle of the field, because there were NO pumpkins to be found, except for the rotten ones. 

Of course, they blamed me for this non-sense. 

So off we went to the next best pumpkin patch. The man-made one in front of the grocery store. We loaded up a grocery cart in place of the wheel barrow and then opted for a family photo in front of the apples. By this point, I can guarantee you the family was ready to disown me. Even my husband tried to escape the photo and hide behind the lemons.


Back at the house, we laid out some newspaper, and got to complaining carving. 

My father in law refused to participate, except for the parts when he got to use tools. Have you ever tried to hammer cookie cutters into a hallow pumpkin? Or drill holes into the side of one? My mother in law had a great time entertaining us, making a mess and letting Monty eat all the pumpkin guts off the ground. [Disclaimer: This act will destroy majority of your cookie cutters.]

My brother in law could not get over the fact that I "make" Mr. B carve pumpkins every year or the fact that his pumpkin was thicker than everyone else's. Stop your bitchin!

My husband decided he was going to free hand the PSU Nittany Lion with a sharpie marker before carving. When he realized that he's not an artist, he opted for block letters instead: P S U. At least it looks good when it's dark.

My sister in law came prepared with her very own design of a horse. I think she would even admit she had fun. Laughing at her husband's carved pumpkin may have actually been the highlight of the day. Do you see the tree? No Dave, all we see is the letter D and a blob in the middle.

And I went the easy route. A face. So original.


I may not be able to convince them to participate in the Bores Annual Carving Party next year,  but at least we have some hilarious memories and photos to remember this day. In fact, I would say these may be Christmas card worthy.

Happy Halloween from the whole Bores Crew.

Dave's blob is really an owl. And Arica's horse wins, by a long shot. Maybe the Bores family really isn't talented enough to carve pumpkins.

PS. Dave's blob died earlier this week. Being the detective that is he, he plans to open an active investigation against this death. We believe it was "natural causes".

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